So I signed up for (and PAID TO JOIN) Yahoo personals last night cos I was super bored and figured 'what the hell' and 'this could be entertaining' and all that bullshit -- TOTALLY IGNORING THAT 1) I HATE YAHOO (THEIR SITE IS A MESS TO NAVIGATE) AND 2) I HATE ONLINE DATING and frankly, after perusing my pre-determined 'matches', I didn't see EVEN ONE DUDE I WOULD CONTACT.
I thought I'd have some fun creating my profile! My intro line was "Yahoo's intro line suggestions are pretty lame." I ended my Description with "The humorless need not contact me." And I did use the word "fucked" and I did use the word "sex"-- but other than that IT WAS PRETTY CIVIL AND TAME, WHILE STILL BEING CLEVER. So Yahoo says they have to REVIEW my shit to make sure it's appropriate. I should have fucking known better.
This morning I find out my intro line and my description were rejected and had to be changed, and I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO PUT THAT WOULD FIT THEIR FASCIST FUNDAMENTALIST GUIDELINES WHILE STILL REPRESENTING EVEN AN IOTA OF WHO I AM. I realize I am not the ideal candidate for Yahoo dating (or any dating it seems) so I go to cancel my account and I end up spiraling down into the depths of hell trying to find the link that allows me to do that. Of course, it is impossible to locate and there isn't a fucking 800 number anywhere to be found. (I can't believe I dated a guy who worked for such an evil operation -- and BARF, he was so fucking smug about it.)
AND TO TOP IT OFF, THIS MARRIED (told me he was separated) ASSHOLE WHO I MET ONCE AND THEN HE STOOD ME UP, ACTUALLY HAD THE BALLS TO EMAIL ME AGAIN AND MY REPLY WAS "EMAIL YOUR WIFE".
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