Friday, November 16, 2007

Ethical Arguments With Estranged Husbands


My "she's absolutely the middle child" sister, CopperCrotch, recently exploded rage all over her cell phone to her estranged husband, "Terry", in her attempts to explain an innocent MySpace introductory quote. Rather than let her drown my own ear in her dramatic soliliquy, I forced her to write it down and email it to me so that in her own voice, a published blog could best put her position into the universe. Here's what she said to him, word for word, in an effort to preserve editorial purity.

Here's to your freedom, CopperCrotch. Let it ring; let it ring.

it feels good to be free...whats wrong with that statement? Would it feel better to be in bondage? chained up? tied to pole and stoned? it feels fucking good to be free. You get to make your own choices. You can use your bathroom when you have to. You can buy your favorite flavor of toothpaste. You can take a shower as long as you wish. You can stay up as late as you want watching whatever the hell you want on TV while eating chips in your bed. You aren't responsible for anyone but yourself and your offspring.

Martin Luther King would agree with me. If you were to look back into history, there is no evidence of freedom feeling bad. Freedom feels good. That's why people fight for it. That's why people make sacrifices for it. Whatever, I'm free so I can feel however I want about that, so now what are you gonna do? I'm free and it feels good.

Um, plus I took that quote from a Rilo Kiley song, it's not like I could come up with something so profound on my own.

No comments: