So I was doing my good consumer duty, and journeyed to my non-corporate neighbor, Alexander Books. Unsurprisingly, they didn't have any of the three titles I was looking for - which blows - since I'd rather give my business to the small independent bookseller. But WTF? Zero Selection Books more like it. How do I reconcile my desire for conscientious spending with my desire for immediate possession? Is this possible? Is the need to possess a material good *immediately* inherently evil and further fueled by excess-based capitalism? Or has the excess-based capitalism created the want-immediacy dynamic?
Of course, my usual digression ends up with "I should check the library", however, the fear of failure to procure grabs hold of my heart, and then the fear of procuring yet having to return said item twists it until an aorta ruptures, death of my dreams, etc.
Is it the immediacy that drives me, or the ownership?
I ultimately consider the download option: Ownership without the waste of space and paper and mailing time and shipping costs. Eeks. Really, there are few things better than holding a record album in one's hands, or a CD, or a book. Am I motivated to don my shelves to impress the un-impressible, or is it more personal? I want to be able pick up, and flip and open, smell and dust off and catalogue these bits of my being because their physical existence melding with mine makes me feel real. Maybe I'm not the crazy capitalistic-swine-spoiled-impatient-consumer I accuse myself of being... maybe I'm just not cut out for the digital age.
My tangible media is My tangible life.
Amazon.com, here I come!
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