Constant Reminders Of How We're All Gonna Die, Suffer Until Death

Holy Shit, Generation whatever-the-fuck-we-are, hold onto your cell phones... no, don't do that, grab hold of THE LANDLINE PHONE YOU THREW AWAY IN 2001 and read (preferrably by the light of the sun) this article from Newstarget about yet another foe surely to give you a tumor or some painful degenerative illness, and it even has a clever European-derived nick-name: ELECTRO-SMOG.

Can I get anyone to join me in a mass suicide? Too drastic you say? WELL, EVERY TIME YOU WHIP OUT YOUR MAC BOOK AT AN INTERNET CAFE YOU'RE CONTRIBUTING TO YOUR OWN DEMISE ANYHOO. Yes, that's right,

"In September 2007, the EU's European Environment Agency (EEA)1 and the country of Germany2 both issued warnings to their citizens advising them to avoid the use of WiFi and cell phones until further long term studies are conducted, citing fears that the ubiquitous use of wireless technology has the potential to become the next public health disaster on the level of tobacco smoking, asbestos, and lead in automobile gas (as reported by The BioInitiative Working Group3). Israel's Knesset recently banned the placement of cellular antennas on residential buildings4. According to Canadian Underwriter, Lloyd's of London is already 'preparing for the next big liability action — for personal injury damages based on the use of cell phone technology.5"

And doesn't it make you feel warm and fuzzy all over to know that the U.S. FUCKING GOVERNMENT DOESN'T ISSUE ANY FUCKING WARNINGS TO ITS CITIZENS BECAUSE IT SUCKS AND IS A MONEY-HUNGRY ASSHOLE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IT IS IN BED WITH. And the 15 ways this article lists to help reduce such emissions, are not REMOTELY HELPFUL. In fact, I thought this one was a jokey one, you know, thrown in as a jokey Smurf morale booster,

"5. Wear shoes with a sole made from natural materials (like undyed leather), walk barefoot on the beach or earth, or hug a tree - these all may help you release excess EMFs into the earth and ground your body."

Ground your body. GROUND MY BODY???? I LIVE WITH AN ELECTRIC-POWERED VIBRATOR IN MY CROTCH LIKE EIGHTY PERCENT OF THE GODDAMN DAY.

...just when you thought you were the smart one...the one who avoided melanoma since you saw right through the flash and leather-glam of the tanning bed phenom of the early 90s...