"...But I Can't Look at Your Blank Meathead Stare For One More Second."

Imagine my surprise when I sat down to my computer this Monday morning and saw this disturbing (yet hilarious) email, copied to me (plus a thousand of her co-workers, and upper-level management) and sent to my sister's boss, Dick Face.

CopperCrotch has the biggest balls of anyone I know - which scare and thrill me simultaneously. For anyone who's ever wanted to verbally indict management (using many cuss words) for sucking their labor teet dry, or wanted to call out the blatant and subtle ways misogyny oozes out of every orifice of the head douche in charge, or just wanted to exit in a blaze of glory, paying no mind to future references or thinking of keep bridges in tact, then this resignation email is the one for you.

(Btw, she never addresses him as "Dick Face". I changed his name to protect his identity.)

Subject: I Quit

Dick Face,

I'm sorry to do this via email, but I can't work here anymore. I feel as if I've been taken advantage of, and I can't take it any longer. I know I don't need to explain myself; you are not stupid; you know you would NEVER put up with the shit that I have put up with the last 8 months; nobody would. I left a job where I was making $38,000 per year and I had health benefits, paid vacations and paid sick days. I trusted that you were being honest with me. I was wrong.

For the past few months I have been doing all three first briefings per week, and 2-4 second briefings per week. I usually end up doing the thirds too. Plus, I am the only recruiter inviting people in to the office. I do your job. I should be making $200,000+ per year. Seriously, nobody here even knows what you do. You work six hour days and act like you have no time for anything. It's bullshit. This office used to be an awesome place to work when JD was the USM. He cares about people. He inspires people. Dick Face, you still don't even know how many kids I have. You suck ass as a manager!! You have no idea what it means to develop relationships with people. You are a salesman, always ready to manipulate people to get what you want out of them.

I know that I have been passive and let this happen to me. The thing is I'm not stupid. I'm very smart. I am GOOD at my job. I am extremely under paid and I have to hear from you that you don't have any money to pay me, like you're poor or something. Give me a fucking break, nobody is buying that shit Dick Face. And by the way, it is insulting to me when you offer me the bagel scraps at the end of the day. I'm not a charity case. I don't want bagel scraps Dick Face. I want to get paid when I'm supposed to get paid. I know it's hard for you to believe that a WOMAN can have a mind of her own and see through your slimy ways, but it has happened. I'm sorry I have to go out like this, but I can't look at your blank meathead stare for one more second. You have absolutely no integrity Dick Face. NONE.

CopperCrotch